Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Script Revision

I have revised the script since i last received feedback from Ed Hooks and my tutors. Ed was keen for me to outline the mental state of the protagonist at the start, something i have been reluctant to do. This is where the previously mentioned issues arise regarding the class in POV. To negotiate around this i have attempted to separate them by allowing the audience to see much earlier on that all is not what it seems. The protagonist will only find this information out toward the end. This is the first time i have attempted this. All of my previous work has had one POV and that is shared between audience and character. 

The design for the characters performance in this story has changed due to this. This has changed the decision to give him a cast. One of the issues before was the character did not actively show his objective through the action - wanting to get back home to his wife. Before, he was trapped in an enclosed space and we didn't know why. The cast was applied to give the impression that he had been left behind in the early stages of the story. Once the reveal was complete it would become irrelevant anyway. So, in the new version, he is actively pursuing his objective to get back to his wife. (NOTE: in the old version i had confused his objective, i said his objective was to get home.) So to allow him the freedom of movement in a chaotic situation i removed the cast. So here is an example of narrative design informing character design. 

The audio plays a huge part in the progression of the narrative. The audio (that was previously from a TV) is now coming through a radio traffic update. The daffodils were interesting because of the curiosity they gave the character in his situation - in other words from his perspective! But for the revision this was one of the elements that would be solely for the audiences perspective. In order to inform them a conversation about daffs would be counter-productive and confusing. I wanted to give the impression of a time change. I thought about using music but i felt that would give the situation away to easily and would be a really fragile element to get right - an interesting challenge for a sound designer, but a sound designer i am not! I also felt a news story or sports would either work against or for to the extremes too. Since all could be consistant with the timeframe or against it. 

I've place some camera shots/movements in that are for my benefit should i go on to direct it. However, some shots will not work without them specifically. Especially when information is being witheld. Again another implication of building a narrative from two point of views. The script has also evolved from 4 pages to 10. Please read: 

INT. UNKNOWN
MEDIUM CLOSE UP:
It is pitch black. The sound of a large group of people TALKING can be heard, though talking nothing specific. The sound of FIREWORKS start up and the people can be heard reacting to this positively in GASPS of excitement. The fireworks sound distant and flat. The pitch black environment is now lit by the light of the fireworks, coming from above via a confined opening which only reveals itself through the size and scale of the light. The colour of the light is white. The VOICES fade away but the fireworks continue. 
Another light source enters the scene from the lower left. It is chaotic but investigative in movement. By it's shape we know this to be of a flashlight. It's tone has a yellowish tint. The flashlights light reveals more of the environment as it slowly gets closer. The wall which we are directly facing is around one and half meters away. The ground is much lower and the cover above is within distance to suggest we are almost touching it. The wall has a mud like texture with the occasional wooden vertical beam placed within, but they are more revealed than concealed. They look worn but sturdy. Horizontally the environment is wide and stretches far beyond the current capacity of which we see. We are aware we are in an underground tunnel.
During this time the EXPLOSIONS become less flat and less distant. This is apparent as a few small pieces of rubble fall from above. GUNFIRE can be faintly heard in the distance. Another EXPLOSION can be heard but much louder and closer than anything before. It lands, not directly but close, from above. The light from above over exposes the part scene of which it filters through.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP: THE CAMERA FALLS FROM IT'S POSITION ON THE WALL AND TUMBLES DOWN BEFORE LANDING ON THE GROUND.
During the fall a CRY from a male is heard amongst the sound of SMASHING glass, metal and rubble as they hit the floor.
WIDE: CAMERA RESTING POSITION POST FALL
As the flashlight's light filters through the rising dust from the right, the silhouette of a body is revealed, before becoming fully exposed once the dust settles. The figure is a mid-20's male. His face is obscured as he is facing away. He is wearing a an unmarked military uniform that is from the 1940's. It could  look like modern casual wear of the over 60's in the year 2013. He is missing the jacket and helmet. His sleeves are rolled up. He has no gun. Amongst the rubble a satchel can be seen. 
ALBERT rises from the ground and is positioned on all fours. He shakes his head before rubbing his eyes. He squeezes his eyes together whilst he looks above. As he recomposes himself he picks up the flashlight and reclines to his knees. He uses the torch to asses his immediate area. Spotting the satchel he picks it up and brings it toward him. He opens it up to check the contents before turning it upside down to see if anything comes out. It is empty. He throws the satchel away. He looks around again. He spots something and pulls it from a location that is concealed to us from behind some rubble. He pulls the object up towards his chest. He releases it outward to view. 
CLOSE UP: 
A photograph of a young lady is revealed. The name Molly and the year 1942 can be seen hand written in the corner. It is completely sepia in colour except for the eyelids that are coloured blue. 
WIDE:
Albert folds the photograph and places it in his top pocket. Looking around a final time he spots another piece of paper. He is surprised to find it right beside him. Placing the flashlight between his lips, he opens the piece of paper.
POV: 
Albert is looking at a map. 
MEDIUM: 
Albert searches the paper before his eyes fix on a point. His eyes change from intent thought to joy. This confirms he has found what he was looking for on the map.
POV: 
Albert is looking at the symbol of a control/radio signal. 
MEDIUM: 
Albert looks around the tunnel before looking back at the map.
POV:
The shot reveals a tunnel drawn on the map that leads to a hatch. The camera turns up to reveal the hole that the external light was filtering through. The camera moves back down to the hatch on the map. It then follows more of the tunnel marks until it reaches a door - the door of the square box that surrounds the radio symbol. The camera stays in position but the map is pulled below and the camera changes focus to reveal the end of the tunnel which has a door. The door has a worn metalic facade which causes it to not stand out too much against the rubble. It consumes the end of the tunnel. It looks heavy and well fortified. 
WIDE: 
Albert folds the map. As he does so another EXPLOSION lands near by that causes a small amount of rubble and dust to fall from above. Albert acknowledges this by ducking slightly and looking upwards. He finishes folding the paper and stands up. He removes the flashlight from his mouth and retains it in his hand. He is focused on the door and begins to walk toward it.
ALBERT
I'm coming back home to you Molly. (to himself)
Albert pats his top pocket with his free hand as he says this.
WIDE:
The shot framing cuts to reveal the side of the rubble which was previously concealed. A modern looking smashed up photograph frame is visible in the foreground. Albert carries on walking towards the door in the background. He turns around and looks toward the frame. Though he is out of focus we can still see this action.
INT. OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR
MEDIUM CLOSE UP:
It is pitch black. The CLICKING of a turning dial can be heard meeting its destination, stopping for a brief moment before resuming. This happens four times. It sounds like that of a bank/vault safe. After the fourth time a much louder turn can be heard. The latch of the lock hits the metal of the door causing it to briefly RIPPLE through. As the door opens a SQUEAK comes from the hinges. The metal door COLLIDING against the external rubble ECHOS through the environment. This suggests the currently unknown environment is a large enclosure. As the door opens the flashlights beam enters. This briefly bleaches the lens of the camera as the flashlight follows the turn of the door. As the door opens three lights turn on in chronological order. The first light is followed by the second and the second by the third. The first is nearest to the door and the third the furthermost, extending to the far end of the environment. They illuminate the room very dimly. Objects are only just visible. The flashlight is still the primary light source. 
Once inside Albert closes the door. This time it is much quieter and only the SQUEAK of the hinges can be heard. As it fully closes the lock sends a brief RIPPLE across the metal door. 
Albert looks around the room. The room is made of solid but very weathered concrete. It has been disused for a while. The room contains worn tables and chairs, a weapon rack that is empty with exception of a few helmets, a stove, a fireplace, a desk with a crate underneath and a map hanging above. The other end has another door and next to that is a horizontally wide but vertically narrow window. Albert takes special notice of the helmet and the door. Having exhausted every spot in the room with his eyes and flashlight, he goes to the supply crate. Albert pulls the crate from under the table. He opens it up to find a radio.
ALBERT
Gotcha!
Albert places the radio onto the desk. He pulls out a microphone and places it just in front of the radio. He then sits down on the chair. He places the flashlight on the table. Albert turns on the radios power button by flicking in downwards. The light on the radio turns on to confirm it is on. STATIC fills the airwaves. The stove behind him lights up from within. The light filters out through the holes in the stove door. Albert is unaware. He presses the microphones receiver. 
ALBERT
Silver One calling Mother Hen, over.
STATIC rings out briefly before the power dies. The light from the stove dies. Albert flicks the power button up and down a few times before concluding that it is dead. The light in the stove responds however. Turning on and off with the power button. Its final resting position is off.
ALBERT
Shit.
Albert becomes irritated. This is apparent as his body becomes restless as he enters thought. After several times of adjusting himself in the seat he ends in a position facing the map that is pinned on the wall. Albert takes a double look. He looks away briefly as he thinks.
ALBERT
Yes. 
Albert gets out of chair and pulls himself closer to the map. This map is different to the initial map he had in the tunnel. The initial map was a smaller fragmented piece with a very local scale. This new map, left by previous occupiers, is much more regional in scale and offers information over several miles - perhaps 20 or 30 square miles. Albert runs his finger across the map.
ALBERT
Yes.
Albert walks over to the other door with intent. Looking through a view port in the door, Alberts eyes lock onto something. It is a vehicle. It is an Austin 10HP staff car. It is a similar colour to the uniform worn by Albert. Everything on the car is the same colour with exception of the wheels which are a slight shade darker, and the inner section of the headlights which have reflectors. It is a four-door car. Each of the two front doors has a single white star on it. The vehicle is dirty, covered by mud, partiularly around the base.
Walking back to the desk, he places the flashlight down before studying the map further. The light hits his face from below. He runs his finger across the map again before stopping at a particular point. 
ALBERT
If i can get to this aviation field, i might just be able to fly myself back. No need to wait for a rendezvous from Mother Hen. 
Albert picks up the flashlight and walks over to the weapon rack. He removes a helmet and places it on his head. He walks back over to the desk and rips the map from the wall. Albert walks to the exit.
WIDE: AS ALBERT WALKS OFF TO THE DOOR THE CAMERA PANS DOWN AND PULLS INTO FOCUS THE RADIO. WE CAN STILL SEE ALBERTS MOVEMENT.
The power light of the radio flickers on. A brief STATIC noise comes from the speaker.
WILL ROSS
Hi there folks its me Will Ross with your hourly traffic report. We're looking all clear on the roads tonight except for the M1 southbound between junctions 30 and 31. Only a minor incident but still causing brief delays. Please remember to call in if you stuck so we can put them in our next update. Number to follow. See you in an hour.
Albert is unaware of the speaker. Although out of focus we can see him turn the flash light off and place it in his pocket.
FADE TO BLACK AS ALBERT REACHES THE DOOR.
EXT. OUTSIDE OF BUNKER.
The bunker is made of concrete and it's weathered exterior reflects that of the inside, with the addition of what appears to be bullet holes. It has been built into a hillside that is no taller than 12ft. All greenery has long been remove from the area. It is mud filled much like no mans land, but has a clearly defined area carved through the mud to suggest a parking space for vehicles, and roads leading away to drive. It is still evening. EXPLOSIONS occur from all around though cannot be seen. The explosions light the scene. GUNFIRE and PLANES can be heard from above. The vehicle is some distance away from the bunker. Between them is a stack of crates. There are no more than 2 or 3 in the pile which are no bigger than 5ft high.
CLOSE UP: ALBERTS EYES ARE VISIBLE AND FRAMED THROUGH THE VIEW PORT. 
Alberts eyes are looking at the action above. He looks very nervous. He is about to lose the protection of the tunnel and bunker as he makes his way to the vehicle. He is aware of this. An EXPLOSION happens nearby to which Albert responds by ducking below the view port briefly. He takes a breath before turning his head slightly as if nervous. He looks above to the sky. He gains composure in posture but his eyes tell a different story. His eyes move focus to about mid-height of the view port.
PAN FROM CLOSE UP TO WIDE: VERY FAST, REVEAL CAR.
CLOSE UP: ALBERTS EYES FRAMED BY VIEW PORT
The EXPLOSIONS, GUNFIRE and AIRCRAFT noise fades out. The CLICKING turn of safe/vault like lock can be heard turning. CLICKING slightly louder every so often to confirm a connection point four times. Alberts eyes are focused on the vehicle throughout. They do not deviate. They are scared and listen to every TICK the lock makes. He knows the code and doesn't need to look. A HEARTBEAT can be heard increasing its beat-rate rapidly. After the final connection on the doors lock CLICKS into place, Alberts eyes close and he takes a breath. All noise is now muted.
MID-WIDE: FRAME THE WHOLE OF THE DOOR IN SHOT.
The lock on the door is heard as it UNLOCKS. The door opens. Nothing can be seen. It is completely black inside. A WHISTLING noise can be heard, much like a SCREECH. It sounds distant but gets closer. An EXPLOSION can be heard. It lands near by. A RINGING noise consumes the airwaves.
MID-WIDE: SAME SHOT, CAMERA REACTS TO EXPLOSION.
Albert runs from out of the dark. He SCREAMS as he does so. The RINGING blends and turns into Alberts SCREAM. GUNFIRE, AIRCRAFT and EXPLOSION sound can be heard coming from every direction. Albert has entered the heart of a battle happening above. He ends his run by crouching down with his back up against the crates. He is breathing fast and heavily. He is carrying the folded map. His helmet has become misplaced on his head. Turning to look at the vehicle a little to sharply causes the helmet to fall off. The helmet breaks into two pieces down the center.
ALBERT
What the? 
Before Albert has time to put much thought to the broken helmet another EXPLOSION happens nearby causing him to pull back behind the crates. He looks around again at the vehicle. He turns away and take a quick deep breath before running again towards the vehicle, he knows he cannot hang around. He arrives at the vehicle and pulls on the handle of the vehicle door. It is already unlocked. A stroke of luck. He quickly gets into the drivers seat. He places the map onto the seat opposite. He starts looking for something frantically that he cannot find around the dashboard and the floor. He unconsiously pats his pockets. His frantic behaivour slows down completely. He is in shock about something. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a set of keys. He throws them onto the opposite seat in fear.
ALBERT
Where did they come from? I didn't even...
MOLLY
Albert (Shouts from distance)
Albert turns quickly and starts looking through the windscreen. He can't see anybody. He looks back at the keys. He turns and starts looking out of the other windows. He still fails to see the source of the voice. The vehicles passenger door opens.
MOLLY
Albert, what are you...
ALBERT
Quick get in.
Albert removes the map and keys off the passenger seat. MOLLY gets into the car and sits on the passenger seat closing the door in the process.
MID: FROM BACK OF VEHICLE
Both of their faces are concealed by silhouettes. 
ALBERT
Who are you? What are you doing out hear? Have you seen whats going on? Your lucky im here. Now take this map i need you to count the exits as i pass them. Once we get past twenty... Wait a minute. How did you know my name? 
MOLLY
This is not a map, hunny
Albert looks at the map. He is bewildered, shocked and confused. It is not a map. It is a Jackson Pollack style painting. 
MOLLY
Hunny, it's me. Molly.
EXTREME CLOSE UP: MOLLYS EYES
Molly blinks slowly. The womans face is still concealed by silhouette. She has the same blue eye shadow as the woman in the photograph he is carrying.
ALBERT
No it... Molly?... but you look so...
Something catches Alberts eye mid-sentence and he is silenced as he is briefly distracted.
ALBERT
...old
Albert finishes his sentence as he touches his face. Albert is no longer in the military vehicle. It's a modern-day family car. He acknowledges this as he continues to rub his face. He looks out the window. He is outside a modern domestic family home. He thinks back. He remembers when he looked back toward the photo frame in the tunnel. It was actually in a hallway. He remembers studying the objects in the bunker. They were actually in his living room. The stove was infact the TV. The table a coffee table. The desk a unit. Above that, the map, was a painting. The weapon rack a diplay case of dishes. He remembers his helmet. Albert looks out of his windscreen, lifting himself slightly off his seat. A dish broken in half now sits in its place. As if to pull into doubt the current realisation. 
ALBERT
No wonder i had the keys.
MOLLY
The keys? Have you seen what you've done to my collection of porcelain dishes!
Molly winks at Albert. They share a laugh before hugging. 
MOLLY
I'm glad your back.
ALBERT
Me too.
Fireworks EXPLODING are passing above. 
THE CAMERA PANS AWAY AS THE ENVIRONMENT FADES TO BLACK WITH JUST THE CAR AND FIREWORKS REMAINING. BEFORE FINALLY FADING OUT.

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